How to Get Your Kids to Actually Cooperate During Family Photos (Without Bribes or Threats)

If you've ever spent the car ride to a photo session giving your kids "the talk" (you know the one), then you already know how that usually goes. By the time everyone gets out of the car, someone is already in a mood, someone is refusing to smile and you're wondering why you thought this was a good idea.

Here's what I want you to know before your next session: the pressure you're feeling? It's making things harder, not easier. And the "cooperation" you're hoping for might not even be what makes the best photos anyway.

The Session That Changed How I Think About Kids and Cameras

A few years ago, I photographed a family where the dad spent most of the session threatening his kids with loss of ipad time if they didn't behave. And honestly? The kids were just being kids… playful, silly, a little wild. Totally normal. But once the threats started, something shifted. They shut down. The playfulness disappeared, and so did any chance of getting real, connected images.

So I asked the parents to take a short walk while I spent some time with the kids on my own. We played games. The energy totally changed. And when Mom and Dad came back, we were all in a much better place.

That session taught me something I now carry into every single family I work with: kids just want to be themselves, even during a photo shoot. When we let them do that, something real actually shows up in the images.

What "Cooperation" Actually Means During a Family Session

Here's a misconception I find myself gently correcting over and over again: parents come into a session worried about whether their kids will follow directions to look at the camera/stand still/smile on cue. And I completely understand why. That's what most of us picture when we think "family photos."

But here's what I've learned, and what I've slowly shifted toward in my own work: a successful session isn't one where everyone is staring at the camera and smiling perfectly. It's one where everyone is relaxed, focused on each other and not thinking about the camera at all.

The pressure to perform almost always makes the pictures look forced. And forced pictures are the ones that end up sitting in a folder on your phone for years…never printed, never on your wall or in an album.

I used to default to “everyone looking at the camera” shots because I thought that was what families wanted. I'm learning now (and hearing it directly from the families I work with) that what people really treasure are the images where they look like themselves. Laughing, connecting, being a little chaotic. That's the stuff worth printing.

What Actually Helps (Before and During the Session)

Let go of the idea that your kids need to "behave"

In my sessions, there's a lot of movement, exploring, and game-playing built right in. So when a child doesn't want to look at the camera or follow a direction, it's genuinely not a problem. We just play a different game or find a new spot to wander. There's always another moment coming and it's usually a better one.

Don't negotiate or threaten in front of the camera

I know it feels like the right move in the moment but promises of ice cream or warnings about screen time put kids in performance mode and performance mode doesn't photograph well. You should absolutely celebrate with ice cream after but please don’t promise it as reward for good behavior (because you won’t need it…we’re going to have fun!!).

Let them warm up

Kids need a few minutes to get comfortable with a new person and a new place. I always build that into the flow of a session. If your youngest is clinging to your leg for the first ten minutes, that's completely normal and sometimes that's where the sweetest images come from anyway.

Trust that movement is a good thing

Running, exploring, chasing each other through a field…these are not problems to manage. These are the moments I'm looking for. The best images often happen when nobody is thinking about the camera at all.

Keep your own energy easy

Kids take cues from their parents. If you walk into a session relaxed and genuinely excited to spend some time together outside, they'll feel that. If you're tense and monitoring their every move, they'll feel that too.

Why This All Matters More Than You Might Think

Twenty years from now, you're not going to look at a photo of your kids staring at a camera and feel something deep in your chest. You're going to look at the one where your daughter threw her head back laughing or the one where your son was mid-sprint and completely free. Those are the images that hold the memory of who your kids actually were at this age.

That's what I'm always chasing in a session. Not perfect. Real.

And when parents stop trying to manage the session and just show up for their family, that's exactly what we get.

Ready to Actually Enjoy Your Family Session??

If you've been putting off booking because you're worried your kids won't cooperate, I want you to hear this: that is almost never the problem you think it is. We figure it out together, and usually the "uncooperative" moments are the ones you'll love most.

I'd love to photograph your family exactly as you are, right now, in this chapter of your family’s story. Reach out here and let's start planning something that actually feels like you.